Swagg::Net::Guestbook

A frog got stuck in my Epson printer in 2006. I opened my apartment door to pay for pizza delivery, and a green tree frog hopped inside my living room. I chased him around until he jumped on my printer, and as I reached for him, he wiggled into the paper feed. I didn’t know what to do so I actually called Epson customer service and explained what happened. They sent me a new printer with a return shipping label for me to send back the old one with the frog inside, which I did. Two weeks later I found a dried, mummified frog in my bathroom closet. The people at Epson received a printer without a frog stuck inside, so they probably thought I was nuts.

RATIO? RATIO? WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN MEAN, WHAT THE FUCK ARE THESE KIDS SAYING THESE DAYS? RATIO? WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU HAVE SOME SORT OF VIOLENT BRAIN DAMAGE? RATIO THIS, L THAT. ARE YOU PEOPLE ACTUALLY MENTALLY CHALLENGED? HOLY SHIT LIKE. RATIO IS A FUCKING MATH TERM YOU DERANGED DEGENERATE BASEMENT DWELLING MORONS CAN YOU STUPID DENSE MOTHERFUCKERS SAY ANYTHING ELSE? SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT THE FUCK UP

what is + l + ratio + wrong + get a job + without doubt + you have fallen + never got in any way + face + allergy with gluten + don't worry + cringe ur baby + literally close the shit + gale made better + your avi is done in ms excel + ur small bf fero + I have more numbers + double reading room + double reading

just learned that furry police exist. what do I have to do to become a furry criminal and get arrested at furry gunpoint by a furry police officer and get sent to furry jail where I am interrogated by a furry detective and then placed on furry trial where I plead not guilty and hire a furry lawyer who attempts to argue my furry case but his entire fucking argument is just "UwU rawrrr!!~ pounces on you~" and obviously the furry evidence is not in my favor and I am sentenced to furry execution by furry electric chair where I am strapped down and electrocuted with 40 furrywatts of furry electricity and become a smoldering furry mess?

So there are about 300,000 male whales in the world give or take, and when a whale ejaculates they can cum 4000 gallons, but only 10% will end up in their partner so that’s about 3,600 gallons of cum getting into the water per male whale, 300,000•3,600 is 1,080,000,000 gallons of cum in the ocean. Now, there are around 343 quintillion gallons of water in the ocean, and the percentage of whale cum in all of that is 10-7 %. The ocean is 10-7 % whale cum. You’re welcome. Or should I say, you’re whalecum.

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You shut your goddamn fucking whore mouth before I shut it for you. My mother is a saint and would WRECK your mom's pathetic excuse for a peach cobbler, i bet your mom serves it cold. I will fucking ENSLAVE you and make you bake peach cobblers until the day you die and they'd still never be as good as my moms

Guys I’ve said this a thousand times. PLEASE DO NOT PISS IN THE DISCORD CALLS. I’ve caught both high and low ranking members pissing while in VC so loud, you can hear it in the mic. Please stop this I don’t want to have to start banning people. We also DO NOT need to know what color the piss is, or what your diet for said piss color is. And no, I will not make a “Piss VC” and text channel for you to talk and congregate. This is the last warning to the server, or I will ban you

HA! You just got rickrolled, bozo! RIP to you NERD 🤓 HAHAHA THIS IS YOU -----------> 🤡 THIS ONE IS TOO, NERD HAHA -------------> 🤓 IMAGINE GETTING RICKROLLED IN 2022.. COULDN'T BE ME Scroll down for an apology, me feel bad now 😞 We're no strangers to love You know the rules and so do I A full commitment's what I'm thinking of You wouldn't get this from any other guy I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling Gotta make you understand Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you We've known each other for so long Your heart's been aching but you're too shy to say it Inside we both know what's been going on We know the game and we're gonna play it And if you ask me how I'm feeling Don't tell me you're too blind to see Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you Never gonna give, never gonna give (Give you up) We've known each other for so long Your heart's been aching but you're too shy to say it Inside we both know what's been going on We know the game and we're gonna play it I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling Gotta make you understand Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you HA! YOU JUST GOT RICKROLLED AGAIN, BOZO!

McDonald’s fucked me so hard dude, they made it so I couldn’t carry everything I ordered SO I HAD TO STAND THERE AND DRINK MY SPRITE AND EAT MY ICE CREAM SO I COULD CAREY EVERYTHING Now I have no sprite and no ice cream And I cannot sleep No naps for today Fuck McDonald’s