Swagg::Net::Guestbook

Damn I wish my body looked like that. I would go to the beach and have a pal throw me a football, then I would catch it right beside some cute girls and start chatting with them while being a really nice guy but not too nice. Then I would invite them for a dip in the water. Then with some playful water fighting I would figure out which cutie wants my body the most. Then I would ask her if she wants to go for a walk. Then in a secluded area I would ask her if she wants to hear a secret? Then I would lean in like I'm going to whisper in her ear and I would kiss her neck instead. Then we would start making out hard in the grass and I would squeeze her boobs. But she is on her period so she stops me from fingering her. Then we get married and have kids and I get a dad bod and she dumps me because she is shallow and only loves me for my rock hard bod. The end. I could keep going but it spirals into a depressing situation.

breaking news: gargron removes "posting" from mastodon: (posting is bloat)

Life, liberty and da pursuit of swagginess

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I have a confession... I am extremely attracted to the Hog rider from the hit games Clash of Clans (also abbreviated as CoC 🥵.)🥵.)) and Clash Royale. Every morning I wake up with an extreme boner imagining the rider smashing my balls with his mighty gold-gilded hammer while I ride the hog from behind and scream out "HOG RIDEEEEEEEEEEEEER!!!" Every time I think of him and see him, I imagine the hog he's riding is me. It truly does pain me every waking moment of everyday where I realize that I cannot be with the Hog rider. I am nothing without the hog rider 🥺😭😭🥺🥺

here's a proof that we're all the same person, look at me posting this from all my alts

I want to be pinned down by a bunch of thicc femboys. I struggle to escape but have no chance against their massive booties and bulges on my face. Eventually their heat and musk put me in daze and I can't even hope of getting away from them. They turn me into their little toy as I drown in their thiccness

Yo yo yo isss ya boi mistermonster up in the hizzouse comin atcha from deep inside the bowels of the interweb. I really dig this joint, expecially the tunez and the captcha

horse time

Yes, it can be controlled. However, the distortion unit has operational limits. Imagine your path through time is through a cone. The farther away from the center of the cone, the more differences you will see in the world line. The C204 begins to "break away" at about 60 years. This means the level of confidence drops rapidly after 60 years of travel and the world line divergence increases. In other words, if I wanted to go back 2000 years and meet Christ, there is a better than average chance I would end up on a world line where he was never born. The computer units and gravity sensors "record" your trip and you are quite easily able to return to your point of origin. I am aware that research is being done on faster units with more accurate clocks. I imagine that they will be able to go back farther with a higher degree of divergence confidence.