Swagg::Net::Guestbook

I have a confession... I am extremely attracted to the Hog rider from the hit games Clash of Clans (also abbreviated as CoC 🥵.)🥵.)) and Clash Royale. Every morning I wake up with an extreme boner imagining the rider smashing my balls with his mighty gold-gilded hammer while I ride the hog from behind and scream out "HOG RIDEEEEEEEEEEEEER!!!" Every time I think of him and see him, I imagine the hog he's riding is me. It truly does pain me every waking moment of everyday where I realize that I cannot be with the Hog rider. I am nothing without the hog rider 🥺😭😭🥺🥺

here's a proof that we're all the same person, look at me posting this from all my alts

I want to be pinned down by a bunch of thicc femboys. I struggle to escape but have no chance against their massive booties and bulges on my face. Eventually their heat and musk put me in daze and I can't even hope of getting away from them. They turn me into their little toy as I drown in their thiccness

Yo yo yo isss ya boi mistermonster up in the hizzouse comin atcha from deep inside the bowels of the interweb. I really dig this joint, expecially the tunez and the captcha

horse time

Yes, it can be controlled. However, the distortion unit has operational limits. Imagine your path through time is through a cone. The farther away from the center of the cone, the more differences you will see in the world line. The C204 begins to "break away" at about 60 years. This means the level of confidence drops rapidly after 60 years of travel and the world line divergence increases. In other words, if I wanted to go back 2000 years and meet Christ, there is a better than average chance I would end up on a world line where he was never born. The computer units and gravity sensors "record" your trip and you are quite easily able to return to your point of origin. I am aware that research is being done on faster units with more accurate clocks. I imagine that they will be able to go back farther with a higher degree of divergence confidence.

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Ginaz School, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Geidi Prime, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top swordmaster in the entire Atreides Armed Forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this planet, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over distrans? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the known universe and your messenger is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Atreides fighting force and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the planet, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

meow

I am a man with a decidedly womanly ass, ya know, that juicy combination of firm and perky, but still jiggly to the touch and naturally hairless. So, naturally, with this lady butt bubble bouncing with every strut, I have to wear lady pants to keep this va-va-voom in check otherwise I'm gonna have pinchers follow me around everywhere. Now, these pants I buy, of course they have no pockets. I'm basically wearing latex paint, and I have to cut a front hole into the front for my wobbly man's wang dangler to dangle dong comfortably (I hide this hog meat by wearing extra long shirts, so don't worry). The problem still remains, though. Wear do I put my credit card if I don't have pockets? I ask myself this question every single day as I shift cheeks in the mirror in an accidentally extremely erotic way. Luckily, I kind of create a natural pocket by pushing my chin down to my neck and that's where I keep my credit card. I wish the lady pants would just have pockets, but hey, I also wish I had a man butt and not this outrageously voluptuous and irresistibly spankable lady butt. Any tips from ladies with lady butts would be appreciated, though not necessarily followed through with.

Got ketchup mixed with lettuce, cheese, cause' every time I wake up in the morning I got burgers on my mind, ketchup, mustard, mayo, fries, and number 9, and all these yummy burgers tasty tryna get me off my grind, but I can't let them do it, I got burgers on my mind, I got burgers on my mind, I got burgers on my mind, I got burgers on my mind