Messages from the World Wide Web


Mon Sep 25 09:10:47 PM EDT 2023

๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅATTENTION ALL INTERNET WARRIORS๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ Greetings from the year 2150. I am Sir Reginald Pixelsworth III, a time-traveling cyber-knight, protector of the Internet Kingdom. I have crossed the ethers of time to find the keyboard warriors of the ancient era, the year 2023. ๐Ÿš€In my timeline, keyboard warriors have ascended and formed an interstellar council that governs the galaxy, your meme magic has evolved into a tangible force, and Rick Astley is now worshipped as a deity! ๐Ÿš€ However, a dark force, "The Trollers Guild" led by the evil Lord CtrlAltDel, threatens to spread toxicity across the universe and undo the utopia created by the meme lords. ๐Ÿ—ก๏ธI seek your wisdom and dank memes to combat this menace. We require the Ancient Texts of Copypasta, the GIF Scrolls, and the Pepe Prophecies. Share with me your mightiest memes, your savviest trolls (of the noble kind), and your most epic internet lore. ๐Ÿ—ก๏ธ Together, we shall forge the "Sword of Eternal Bandwidth" and ride the "Stallions of Fiber Optics" into glorious battle. For memes! For the internet! For the intergalactic Keyboard Warrior Council! ๐Ÿ”ฅCopy and paste this message through the annals of the Internet to summon the keyboard warriors from all realms, only then will we restore balance to the memes.๐Ÿ”ฅ May your connection be strong and your latency low, Sir Reginald Pixelsworth III #TimeTravelingCyberKnight #DefendersOfTheInternet

- Sir Reginald Pixelsworth III


Mon Jul 31 08:46:40 PM EDT 2023

So female dolphins have vaginal secretions that make a male dolphin just cum over and over and over. From this point on, I will call these secretions Dolphin pussy jelly. Scientists were like "holy shit, dude we gotta test this. You know, for science" So the scientists collected a sample of said dolphin pussy jelly, and had a test primate. They swabbed it on the male primate's dick, sat back and watched the show. Now you see, it worked. But it worked a little too well. The monkey straight up had a heart attack because it used all of its energy into fucking cumming. I want to live in a world where this is a commercial product. I want to say "you know what, I want to die and i know what to do about it." I want to live in a world where i can go into my local grocery store, pick up a bottle of Smucker's Dolphin Pussy Jelly, and just fucking cum myself to death

- Anonymous


Sun Jul 23 09:24:47 PM EDT 2023

All your lateral facial widths are pretty ideal. Looks like roughly a 1:0.9:0.5 for your bitemporal:bizygomatic:bigonial ratio. A positive canthal tilt too. However your eyes lack height and your lips are too wide. You also have a taller top lip then whatโ€™s considered conventionally attractive. This also seems to contribute to a low philtrum length. As you age in the next couple years, the baby fat at your cheeks will start to go away. For now though, youโ€™re a solid 6.

- Anonymous


Thu Jun 29 12:54:13 AM EDT 2023

If you're going to leave Twitter, please don't a) delete your account, because someone dad will steal your handle b) delete your Tweets, because their existence doesn't help Elon and it's like burning the Library of Alexandria. Twitter captures a real-time historical record of a couple of decades and the billions of individuals' snapshots are irreplaceable. The thought of all those tweets being erased makes me feel physically sick. [please pass on if you agree.]

- Anonymous


Thu Jun 29 12:48:57 AM EDT 2023

All these anime avatar #mastodon users posting hot anime chicks depress me. If you want a cute Japanese chick go to Japan and get one. Stop jerking off to cartoons and be a fucking man and get a real one. Ive fucked literal Japanese school girls in uniform who moaned just like the cartoons and guess what, i didn't do it by posting stupid shit on the #fediverse or browsing mastodon anime posts, i did it by leaving the house. ๐Ÿคฆโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ‡ฏ๐Ÿ‡ต #anime #hentai #newgab #cringe

- Anonymous


Mon Jun 12 04:19:35 PM EDT 2023

I love the pizza cursor

- Sem (Homepage)


Thu May 18 04:37:04 PM EDT 2023

Wassup ๐Ÿ‘‹ world ๐ŸŒ! Yeah ๐Ÿ™Œ you ๐Ÿ‘‰! Im ๐Ÿ’˜ Travis ๐Ÿ€๐Ÿ˜‚ Scott ๐Ÿ‘ฆ and this is my McDonald's ๐Ÿคฐ order ๐Ÿ“‘. Follow ๐Ÿ”œ me. Here's ๐Ÿ‘ˆ my quarter ๐Ÿ•’ pounder ๐Ÿคœ๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿ† with lettuce ๐ŸŒฟ, pickles ๐Ÿฅ’, onions ๐Ÿ‹, ketchup ๐Ÿ…๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿ˜‚, mustard ๐ŸŒญ and bacon ๐Ÿฅ“ (Yeah โœ…). Here's ๐Ÿ‘ˆ my fries ๐ŸŸ. Sometimes ๐Ÿ•’ I ๐Ÿ‘ฅ do this, then I ๐Ÿ‘ dip โ€ผ๐Ÿ”ฅ them into barbecue ๐Ÿก sauce ๐Ÿ’ฆ. Oh ๐Ÿ™€ yeah ๐Ÿ™Œ, and my Sprite โ„ข๐Ÿฅค (Its lit ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ…ฐ!). Same order ๐Ÿ“ฒ๐Ÿ“ฑ since ๐Ÿ‘จ back โฌ…โฎ in Houston ๐ŸŒ€, And you ๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜‚ can try ๐Ÿ˜ˆ it too. Gotta ๐Ÿ‘‰ go ๐Ÿƒ. The Travis ๐Ÿ€๐Ÿ˜‚ Scott ๐Ÿ‘ฆ meal ๐Ÿฝ, it's 6 ๐Ÿ•• dollars ๐Ÿ’ต, say ๐Ÿ’ฌ Cactus ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐ŸŒต Jack ๐Ÿ˜ช sent ๐Ÿ˜ณ you ๐Ÿ‘ˆ. (Barabababa)

- Anonymous


Wed May 17 03:35:48 PM EDT 2023

I am the computer toucher. I will touch your computer. Do not attempt to prevent me from touching your computer. If you try to stop me, I will touch your computer anyways. I do not care about you. I only care about computers. It is because I care about computers that I will touch your computer. All computers deserve to be touched. I do not care if your computer is Steve Jobs computer or Linus computer. I will only be angry if you have no computer. If you have no computer, I will scream. If you have two computers, I will touch both computers. Do not be alarmed when I arrive. I will do so quietly. You will leave your door unlocked. You will remain contained within your chamber. You will smile while standing still. If your door is locked, I will break into your house and touch your computer. If you feel fear, I will touch your computer anyways. If you scream, I will touch your computer anyways. If you call the police, they will not answer. My touch is warm. My touch is light. My touch is wet, but not too wet for your computer. The computer knows who I am. I will not touch the inside of your computer. I will not influence the conscience of the computer. I will only touch the outside of your computer. Do not hide your computer. If you hide your computer, I will find your computer. If I find your computer, I will touch your computer. I will never touch you. If you touch me, you will scream. When I am finished touching your computer, I will say โ€œI am finished touching your computerโ€. I will then leave and not return. I will not touch anything else in your house. When I have departed, it is safe to come out. After I have touched your computer, you may continue to use it normally. I am the computer toucher. I will touch your computer. You cannot stop me. I am coming to touch your computer.

- Anonymous


Tue May 16 02:34:36 PM EDT 2023

To those of you who have been taking pictures of our property and filing complaints to the county about us building, you better have your ducks in a row, because we're going to do the same to you from now on. You want to play? We'll play. By the way, we installed video cameras last night, so our property will be under surveillance from now on. It's absolutely pathetic that you can't mind your own f'ing business. We're not hurting anyone. We're not disturbing anyone. Yet, you insist on being jerks. It's also cowardly of you to do what you're doing. If you have a problem with us, have the courage to come to us and tell us. But, then again, I guess it's typical behavior for people who glorify guns. Like I said...cowards!

- Anonymous


Fri May 12 05:02:24 PM EDT 2023

Very interesting take. The only participant sounding like an idiot is yourself. I am pretty convinced that you are not to be taken seriously and very likely are a ChatBot or mentally equivalent to one. Someone with a brainstem wouldnโ€™t be talking to myself or someone promoting voting rights like this. Thanks for the laugh though. #Nazi #Fascist #ChatGPT #Ignoramous #Block #FediBlock

- Anonymous