Swagg::Net::Guestbook


Messages from the World Wide Web

#86

Wed Jun 29 02:41:41 AM UTC 2022

Today, we're gonna be counting down the Top Ten Numbers of all time! Starting us off at Number 10, it's Number 7. And at Number 9 it's none other than Number 8. Now speaking of Number 8, Number 8 is Number 6. And at Number 7, it is of course, Number 9. But 9 in 7 and 7 in 10 need to look out because up next it's Number 6 with Number 5. Quick recap, because Number 9 was Number 8 which you'll need to know for the context of this next Number because it's Number 5 for Number 4, and in Number 4 it's Number 2 but Number 3 this year is also Number 5. That's right folks! Ladies and gentlemen, we have two Number 5's. At Number 6 and Number 3, three must suck ass because it couldn't even make it into the top ten. And at Number 2, it's Number 1. So close Number 1 but there can only be one Number 1 and that one Number at Number 1 is Number 5!

- Anonymous

#85

Tue Jun 28 12:21:38 AM UTC 2022

I turn on my PC. The local wildlife are immediately sterilised by the excessive output from my four exposed nuclear reactors running at a critically risky heat output. The sound of 10,000 cooling fans deafens the city’s morning traffic as my warehouse of 500 parallel-chained AMD Razer Threadrippers bursts into life, forming the equivalent processing power of 2015 in one room. Nearby, my cluster of Nvidia 5090 Test Cards begins to warp the local time continuum as they calculate answers man was never meant to know. Very gently, I open Microsoft Teams. Instantly, the already deafening noise of fans increases to a murderous wail as they try to keep my equipment at operating temperatures. A nuclear reactors’ fusion catches up with its cooling and explodes destroying the lives of millions. The floor begins to melt away as my processors over clocked ten-fold reach critical mass and descend directly into hell. My Nvidia cluster collapses into a singularity and begins to devour the planet. Quickly now, I open a text chat, it’s a bit laggy. The sheer struggle of loading some text destroys the remaining systems. Me and my equipment are deleted from reality by an unknown overseer. Humanity is not ready for instant messaging

- Anonymous

#84

Mon Jun 27 08:34:02 PM UTC 2022

IM DELETING YOU, DADDY!😭👋 ██]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] 10% complete..... ████]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] 35% complete.... ███████]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] 60% complete.... ███████████] 99% complete..... 🚫ERROR!🚫 💯True💯 Daddies are irreplaceable 💖I could never delete you Daddy!💖 Send this to ten other 👪Daddies👪 who give you 💦cummies💦 Or never get called ☁️squishy☁️ again❌❌😬😬❌❌ If you get 0 Back: no cummies for you 🚫🚫👿 3 back: you're squishy☁️💦 5 back: you're daddy's kitten😽👼💦 10+ back: Daddy😛😛💕💕💦👅👅

- Anonymous

#83

Mon Jun 27 04:20:33 AM UTC 2022

I asked a guy if he knew about Pokémon today, and he proceed to list off all of the 151 original Pokémon. I smirked "That's it? Ha! gen wunner" Instantly all of the air was sucked out of his lungs. I laughed, and proceeded to name all 802 Pokemon, what levels they evolve at, when they learn all of their moves, what all of the moves do, every Pokédex entry and their current most meta smogon build. With every new fact his body decomposed at a faster and faster rate, until he was nothing more than a pound of dirt. But I was not feeling merciful that day. I used a max revive on him, and proceeded to cause every one of not only his bones, but everyone within 18 generations of him's bones to dissolve into a fine powder (including mine) He begged me to stop but I kept going. I recounted every piece of rule 34 Pokemon art to date, along with its exact time of creation and what specific fetishes it appeals to, no matter how niche. I then proceeded to jerk off to each and every one right there in front of him. So yeah I guess you could say I'm a Pokémon master. 😎

- Anonymous

#82

Sun Jun 26 11:08:37 PM UTC 2022

Many people always ask me how I was able to get into Harvard as a 16 year old who skipped 3 grades of high school. They think I got in because of my scholarly records, but no the key is the interview. As I sat in the Harvard Dean's office in front of the board of reviewers for my application, the Dean asks me "Why should you be a good candidate for this school?" They seemed bored but I replied "Well I was born a child prodigy, placed 1st in my state spelling bee for three consecutive years, I can speak eight different languages not counting Latin, play four different instruments, I skipped grades 4 through 6, and graduated my high school as valedictorian at the age of 14. I then worked as an intern at both Telsa, and NASA." Suddenly the room burst into laughter and many of board instantly started scribbling down "No" near the application check marks. The Dean says "Sorry but you are just not the type we are looking for." But then I said "Excuse me but I wasn't finished... I watch Rick and Morty" The Dean looked at me like an idiot and said "So....?" Then I replied with a smile "And I understand all the references and subtle jokes" An audible gasp let out by the board was so loud the secretary had to come in. You could hear a pin drop and then suddenly all at once the entire board clicked their pens on the "Approved Box" and I was instantly handed a diploma and now I'm teaching advanced physicals there. I guess you can say I'm pretty smart. :)

- Anonymous

#81

Fri Jun 24 03:45:05 AM UTC 2022

beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep deet doot deet doot beep boop beep boop peep poop wccckkkkkk WCCCKKKKK weee weeee weeee waaaah waaah waaaah RAAAAA RAAAA RAAAA dee doo deee sssshhhhhh SSSSSHHHHHHH SSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHH

- dial-up user (Homepage)

#80

Thu Jun 23 08:43:55 PM UTC 2022

Wow. Good job. A celebrity acknowledged your existence and u acted like a piece of shit in return. I think you can die now. Congrats. Wow. Amazing. Jealous. Good job. Gg. Btw I actually feel sorry for you, your life must fucking suck no cap. Good luck dude.

- Anonymous

#79

Wed Jun 22 06:43:16 PM UTC 2022

I've been sticking $30 in pennies up my ass for the past 11 years. That's 3,000 pennies a day, 21,000 pennies a week, 1,092,000 pennies a year. To date, that's 12,012,000 pennies. Eight times the population of Nebraska. Those pennies were in my ass! You think you're better than me? Oh, you're not better than me. You handle my ass pennies every day. You pick up my ass pennies for good luck. You throw my ass pennies in fountains and make wishes on them. You give my ass pennies to your little daughter to buy gumballs with. You handle my ass pennies every day. All of you! You ALL handle my ass pennies! Oh, I'll laugh at you before you can laugh at me. Because your pennies have been in my ass. I bet you have one of my ass pennies in your ass right now.

- Anonymous

#78

Wed Jun 22 06:20:13 PM UTC 2022

GUYS!!! I WAS JUST DIAGNOSED WITH ADHD!! MY DOCTOR JUST PERSCRIBED DESOXYN WHICH IS METH!!!! OMG I AM GOING TO BE RICH AT SCHOOL! I HATE TAKING MY MEDS SO I AM GOING TO SELL THEM AT SCHOOL!! ME AND EVERYONE IN MY CLASS ARE 6 YEARS OLD SO WE ARE JUST STUPID LITTLE KIDS LOL!! I WILL SAY ITS CANDY AND SELL THEM FOR A DOLLAR LOL! LETS SEE HOW THIS GOES LOL! UPDATE: LOL GUYS I STARTED GRINDING THE PILLS UP AND PUTTING THEM IN GUMMIES! I ALREADY MADE 100 DOLLARS!! JIMMY LIKED THE CANDY SO MUCH HE FELL ON THE FLOOR AND DIDNT GET BACK UP!! UPDATE: GUYS I MADE 1000 DOLLARS WITH MY METH GUMMIES!! I JUST BOUGHT A NEW GAME CONSOLE AND TV AND SOME GAMES!!! UPDATE!! GUYS!! GOOD NEWS AND BAD NEWS! BAD NEWS IS THAT MOMMY FOUND OUT I WAS SELLING METH AT SCHOOL SO SHE LOCKED UP MY MEDS BUT GOOD NEWS IS THAT SHE SAID THAT THE SFHOOL SAYS I AM NOT ALLOWED TO GO TO SCHOOL ANYMORE! BEST DAY OF MY LIFE!

- Anonymous

#77

Fri Jun 17 07:51:45 PM UTC 2022

A toast to my "friend" Stephen, who set me on the path of villainy. He was supposed to deliver a letter to my crush that I spent hours composing. He did- except he claimed he was the author. She was smitten. I was devastated. My shyness died that day and I became the world's most driven and ruthless 5th grader. Years later at our senior prom, I just happened to be at the punch bowl at the same time as her. I began reciting my letter from memory, line by line. Her eyes grew wide and the cup in her hand started to tremble. My "friend" Stephen, for I had still kept him very close, walked over to see what was going on. The last thing I heard as I walked out of the gym was her yelling and screaming at him. When a chaperone followed me to the school parking lot to demand to know what I had done, I responded thusly: "I waited."

- Anonymous