Swagg::Net::Guestbook

I am a man with a decidedly womanly ass, ya know, that juicy combination of firm and perky, but still jiggly to the touch and naturally hairless. So, naturally, with this lady butt bubble bouncing with every strut, I have to wear lady pants to keep this va-va-voom in check otherwise I'm gonna have pinchers follow me around everywhere. Now, these pants I buy, of course they have no pockets. I'm basically wearing latex paint, and I have to cut a front hole into the front for my wobbly man's wang dangler to dangle dong comfortably (I hide this hog meat by wearing extra long shirts, so don't worry). The problem still remains, though. Wear do I put my credit card if I don't have pockets? I ask myself this question every single day as I shift cheeks in the mirror in an accidentally extremely erotic way. Luckily, I kind of create a natural pocket by pushing my chin down to my neck and that's where I keep my credit card. I wish the lady pants would just have pockets, but hey, I also wish I had a man butt and not this outrageously voluptuous and irresistibly spankable lady butt. Any tips from ladies with lady butts would be appreciated, though not necessarily followed through with.