Swagg::Net::Guestbook

just learned that furry police exist. what do I have to do to become a furry criminal and get arrested at furry gunpoint by a furry police officer and get sent to furry jail where I am interrogated by a furry detective and then placed on furry trial where I plead not guilty and hire a furry lawyer who attempts to argue my furry case but his entire fucking argument is just "UwU rawrrr!!~ pounces on you~" and obviously the furry evidence is not in my favor and I am sentenced to furry execution by furry electric chair where I am strapped down and electrocuted with 40 furrywatts of furry electricity and become a smoldering furry mess?

So there are about 300,000 male whales in the world give or take, and when a whale ejaculates they can cum 4000 gallons, but only 10% will end up in their partner so that’s about 3,600 gallons of cum getting into the water per male whale, 300,000•3,600 is 1,080,000,000 gallons of cum in the ocean. Now, there are around 343 quintillion gallons of water in the ocean, and the percentage of whale cum in all of that is 10-7 %. The ocean is 10-7 % whale cum. You’re welcome. Or should I say, you’re whalecum.

人民✅美👍生活💧向往，就是👴🚪💧奋斗目标，📝者朋友🚪✅🔟8️⃣大作🌶️大量报道，向世界各国传递🌶️许多“🇨🇳声🎵”。👴代⌚🔟8️⃣大大会㊙📕处，向你🚪⌚示衷心💧感谢。刚才，👴🚪召开🌶️🀄国共产党第🔟8️⃣届🀄央委员会第1️⃣次全体会议，选举产生🌶️🆕1️⃣届🀄央领导机构，选举👴为🀄央委员会总📕📝。👴代⌚🆕1️⃣届🀄央领导机构成员，衷心感谢全党同志💧✉任，定当8️⃣负重托，8️⃣辱使命。全党同志💧重托，全国各族人民💧期望，是✅👴🚪做👍工作💧巨大鼓💃，也是👴🚪肩⬆💧重大担子。这个重大💧责任，是✅民族💧责任。👴🚪💧民族是伟大💧民族。在5️⃣千多年💧文明发展历程🀄，🀄华民族为人类💧文明进步作出🌶️8️⃣🉑磨灭💧贡献。近代以后，👴🚪💧民族历经磨难，🀄华民族到🌶️最危险💧时候。自🌶️时以来，为🌶️实现🀄华民族伟大复兴，🈚数仁人志士奋起抗争，但1️⃣次又1️⃣次地失败🌶️。🀄国共产党成立后，团🎀带领人民前赴后继、顽💪奋斗，把贫穷落后💧旧🀄国变成☀️益🚶向繁荣富💪💧🆕🀄国，🀄华民族伟大复兴展现出前所未🈶💧光明前景。👴🚪💧责任，就是💊团🎀带领全党全国各族人民，接过历史💧接力👍，继续为实现🀄华民族伟大复兴而努力奋斗，使🀄华民族更➕坚💪🈶力地自立于🌏民族之林，为人类作出🆕💧更大💧贡献。这个重大💧责任，就是✅人民💧责任。👴🚪💧人民是伟大💧人民。在漫长💧历史进程🀄，🀄国人民依靠自己💧勤劳、勇敢、📄慧，开创🌶️民族和睦共处💧美👍家园，培育🌶️历久弥🆕💧优秀文化。👴🚪💧人民热💓生活，期盼🈶更👍💧教育、更稳定💧工作、更🈵意💧收入、更🉑靠💧社会保障、更高💧平💧医疗卫生佛务、更舒适💧居住条件、更优美💧⭕境，期盼着孩子🚪能成长🉐更👍、工作🉐更👍、生活🉐更👍。人民✅美👍生活💧向往，就是👴🚪💧奋斗目标。人世间💧1️⃣切幸福都是💊靠辛勤💧劳动来创造💧。👴🚪💧责任，就是💊团🎀带领全党全国各族人民，继续解放思想，坚持改革开放，8️⃣断解放和发展社会生产力，努力解决群众💧生产生活💤难，坚定8️⃣移🚶共同富裕💧道路。这个重大💧责任，就是✅党💧责任。👴🚪💧党是全心全意为人民佛务💧政党。党领导人民已经取🉐🌶️举世瞩目💧成就，👴🚪完全🈶理由因此而自豪，但👴🚪自豪而8️⃣自🈵，决8️⃣会躺在过去💧功劳簿⬆。🆕形势⬇，👴🚪党🍜临着许多严峻挑战，党👙存在着许多亟待解决💧问题。尤其是1️⃣些党员干部🀄发生💧贪污腐败、脱离群众、形式主义、官僚主义等问题，必须⬇大气力解决。全党必须警醒起来。打Fe还需自身硬。👴🚪💧责任，就是同全党同志1️⃣道，坚持党💊管党、从严治党，切实解决自身存在💧突出问题，切实改进工作作风，密切联系群众，使👴🚪💧党始终成为🀄国特😍社会主义事业💧坚💪领导核心。人民是历史💧创造者，群众是真正💧英雄。人民群众是👴🚪力量💧源泉。👴🚪深深知道：每个人💧力量是🈶限💧，但只💊👴🚪万众1️⃣心，众志成城，就没🈶克佛8️⃣🌶️💧💤难;每个人💧工作时间是🈶限💧，但全心全意为人民佛务是♾💧。责任重于泰⛰️，事业任重道远。👴🚪1️⃣定💊始终与人民💕、与人民同甘共苦、与人民团🎀奋斗，夙夜在公，勤勉工作，努力向历史、向人民交1️⃣份合格💧答卷。🇨🇳需💊更多地🌶️解🌏，🌏也需💊更多地🌶️解🇨🇳。希望你🚪今后💊继续为📈进🇨🇳与世界各国💧相互🌶️解作出努力和贡献

You shut your goddamn fucking whore mouth before I shut it for you. My mother is a saint and would WRECK your mom's pathetic excuse for a peach cobbler, i bet your mom serves it cold. I will fucking ENSLAVE you and make you bake peach cobblers until the day you die and they'd still never be as good as my moms

Guys I’ve said this a thousand times. PLEASE DO NOT PISS IN THE DISCORD CALLS. I’ve caught both high and low ranking members pissing while in VC so loud, you can hear it in the mic. Please stop this I don’t want to have to start banning people. We also DO NOT need to know what color the piss is, or what your diet for said piss color is. And no, I will not make a “Piss VC” and text channel for you to talk and congregate. This is the last warning to the server, or I will ban you

HA! You just got rickrolled, bozo! RIP to you NERD 🤓 HAHAHA THIS IS YOU -----------> 🤡 THIS ONE IS TOO, NERD HAHA -------------> 🤓 IMAGINE GETTING RICKROLLED IN 2022.. COULDN'T BE ME Scroll down for an apology, me feel bad now 😞 We're no strangers to love You know the rules and so do I A full commitment's what I'm thinking of You wouldn't get this from any other guy I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling Gotta make you understand Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you We've known each other for so long Your heart's been aching but you're too shy to say it Inside we both know what's been going on We know the game and we're gonna play it And if you ask me how I'm feeling Don't tell me you're too blind to see Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you Never gonna give, never gonna give (Give you up) We've known each other for so long Your heart's been aching but you're too shy to say it Inside we both know what's been going on We know the game and we're gonna play it I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling Gotta make you understand Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you HA! YOU JUST GOT RICKROLLED AGAIN, BOZO!

McDonald’s fucked me so hard dude, they made it so I couldn’t carry everything I ordered SO I HAD TO STAND THERE AND DRINK MY SPRITE AND EAT MY ICE CREAM SO I COULD CAREY EVERYTHING Now I have no sprite and no ice cream And I cannot sleep No naps for today Fuck McDonald’s

My girl caught me in bed with a man. As an alpha male how do I tell that I am so manly that I need to sleep other men to absorb their testosterone. It ain’t gay cos I am so manly other men are like women to me. You guys feel me?

I have a message for Putin. If you want to do your games, your shenanigans, that's fine by me. Truly, it is. But I just got home from vacation, it was fun, I enjoyed it. As I am now home, I get to enjoy my video games. And Putin hear me now: If, by any means, a cyber attack comes through because of the sanctions and takes my internet away while I am enjoying said video games, on my country's goddamn internet soul, then that will be your biggest mistake. What mistake you might ask? Well, my dear Putin, your mistake will be that of taking away games from a gamer. If you make this mistake I will show you what its like to be torn apart, just like the USSR. I will show you what gamer swag truly means. I will make you feel the pain and anguish of every victim of 9/11, every soldier in Vietnam. Your very soul will cry out in agony as your body burns to dust. Nothing will stop me from bearing down all of my immortal gamer swag on your being. So to all else who see this, pray to whatever you believe in, pray that Putin does not make this mistake. For the moment he does, I give the Kremlin 12 hours. 3 hours to prepare, 3 hours to try, and then 6 hours to mourn. Sincerely, a Patriot/EVE Online Commander

I built my own router, and packed it full of security and traffic analytics. Just to test, I took my uncle’s laptop with 100 virus’ because he won’t update it (antivaxxer) and plugged it into my network. Oh the worms tried to spread. But you know that scene from Helms Deep? Imagine that, but all our boys defending the wall are Doom Marines. All the gross orc viruses get they punk ass DROPPED! This is like what would happen if Trump’s boarder wall was made of 500ft of re-enforced concrete and had railguns and all sorts of unnecessary bullshit! Then I decided to run dd if=/dev/zero of=/dev/sda and vaccinate the fuck outta that laptop! Then I tossed it at my uncle like “vaccinate bitch!”