Swagg::Net::Guestbook

After you read this, I guarantee you will feel sorry for me. Imagine this. You are attracted to women, like you are now (emotionally and sexually), but they do not exist. They existed a long time ago, and no one knows what they looked like (They have a pretty good idea from the fossils, however), but they do not exist anymore. That means, not only do you know there will never be any possibility of you having sex with one, but there's not even a possibility of you ever seeing one in real life. Everyone else, however, except for a very few, are not attracted to women, they are attracted to something else entirely. So in other words, you will never find any porn anywhere on the internet, only non-sexual pictures of women. Everyone you have told about your attraction to women think it's disgusting. To relieve yourself, you get off on the non-sexual pictures of women, knowing it will never get any better. That's what life is like to me. I am a degree 6 Zoosexual, sexually and emotionally attracted to Tyrannosaurs and nothing else. Women don't even do it for me. I am cursed to live my life in the misery that my most powerful emotional fantasies will never be even close to coming true. Life is like hell to me. I will never know true love.

🔥🔥🔥ATTENTION ALL INTERNET WARRIORS🔥🔥🔥 Greetings from the year 2150. I am Sir Reginald Pixelsworth III, a time-traveling cyber-knight, protector of the Internet Kingdom. I have crossed the ethers of time to find the keyboard warriors of the ancient era, the year 2023. 🚀In my timeline, keyboard warriors have ascended and formed an interstellar council that governs the galaxy, your meme magic has evolved into a tangible force, and Rick Astley is now worshipped as a deity! 🚀 However, a dark force, "The Trollers Guild" led by the evil Lord CtrlAltDel, threatens to spread toxicity across the universe and undo the utopia created by the meme lords. 🗡️I seek your wisdom and dank memes to combat this menace. We require the Ancient Texts of Copypasta, the GIF Scrolls, and the Pepe Prophecies. Share with me your mightiest memes, your savviest trolls (of the noble kind), and your most epic internet lore. 🗡️ Together, we shall forge the "Sword of Eternal Bandwidth" and ride the "Stallions of Fiber Optics" into glorious battle. For memes! For the internet! For the intergalactic Keyboard Warrior Council! 🔥Copy and paste this message through the annals of the Internet to summon the keyboard warriors from all realms, only then will we restore balance to the memes.🔥 May your connection be strong and your latency low, Sir Reginald Pixelsworth III #TimeTravelingCyberKnight #DefendersOfTheInternet

So female dolphins have vaginal secretions that make a male dolphin just cum over and over and over. From this point on, I will call these secretions Dolphin pussy jelly. Scientists were like "holy shit, dude we gotta test this. You know, for science" So the scientists collected a sample of said dolphin pussy jelly, and had a test primate. They swabbed it on the male primate's dick, sat back and watched the show. Now you see, it worked. But it worked a little too well. The monkey straight up had a heart attack because it used all of its energy into fucking cumming. I want to live in a world where this is a commercial product. I want to say "you know what, I want to die and i know what to do about it." I want to live in a world where i can go into my local grocery store, pick up a bottle of Smucker's Dolphin Pussy Jelly, and just fucking cum myself to death

All your lateral facial widths are pretty ideal. Looks like roughly a 1:0.9:0.5 for your bitemporal:bizygomatic:bigonial ratio. A positive canthal tilt too. However your eyes lack height and your lips are too wide. You also have a taller top lip then what’s considered conventionally attractive. This also seems to contribute to a low philtrum length. As you age in the next couple years, the baby fat at your cheeks will start to go away. For now though, you’re a solid 6.

If you're going to leave Twitter, please don't a) delete your account, because someone dad will steal your handle b) delete your Tweets, because their existence doesn't help Elon and it's like burning the Library of Alexandria. Twitter captures a real-time historical record of a couple of decades and the billions of individuals' snapshots are irreplaceable. The thought of all those tweets being erased makes me feel physically sick. [please pass on if you agree.]

All these anime avatar #mastodon users posting hot anime chicks depress me. If you want a cute Japanese chick go to Japan and get one. Stop jerking off to cartoons and be a fucking man and get a real one. Ive fucked literal Japanese school girls in uniform who moaned just like the cartoons and guess what, i didn't do it by posting stupid shit on the #fediverse or browsing mastodon anime posts, i did it by leaving the house. 🤦‍♂️🇯🇵 #anime #hentai #newgab #cringe

I love the pizza cursor

Wassup 👋 world 🌍! Yeah 🙌 you 👉! Im 💘 Travis 🏀😂 Scott 👦 and this is my McDonald's 🤰 order 📑. Follow 🔜 me. Here's 👈 my quarter 🕒 pounder 🤜💪🍆 with lettuce 🌿, pickles 🥒, onions 🍋, ketchup 🍅👌😂, mustard 🌭 and bacon 🥓 (Yeah ✅). Here's 👈 my fries 🍟. Sometimes 🕒 I 👥 do this, then I 👁 dip ‼🔥 them into barbecue 🍡 sauce 💦. Oh 🙀 yeah 🙌, and my Sprite ™🥤 (Its lit 🔥🅰!). Same order 📲📱 since 👨 back ⬅⏮ in Houston 🌀, And you 👉😘😂 can try 😈 it too. Gotta 👉 go 🏃. The Travis 🏀😂 Scott 👦 meal 🍽, it's 6 🕕 dollars 💵, say 💬 Cactus 💦🌵 Jack 😪 sent 😳 you 👈. (Barabababa)

I am the computer toucher. I will touch your computer. Do not attempt to prevent me from touching your computer. If you try to stop me, I will touch your computer anyways. I do not care about you. I only care about computers. It is because I care about computers that I will touch your computer. All computers deserve to be touched. I do not care if your computer is Steve Jobs computer or Linus computer. I will only be angry if you have no computer. If you have no computer, I will scream. If you have two computers, I will touch both computers. Do not be alarmed when I arrive. I will do so quietly. You will leave your door unlocked. You will remain contained within your chamber. You will smile while standing still. If your door is locked, I will break into your house and touch your computer. If you feel fear, I will touch your computer anyways. If you scream, I will touch your computer anyways. If you call the police, they will not answer. My touch is warm. My touch is light. My touch is wet, but not too wet for your computer. The computer knows who I am. I will not touch the inside of your computer. I will not influence the conscience of the computer. I will only touch the outside of your computer. Do not hide your computer. If you hide your computer, I will find your computer. If I find your computer, I will touch your computer. I will never touch you. If you touch me, you will scream. When I am finished touching your computer, I will say “I am finished touching your computer”. I will then leave and not return. I will not touch anything else in your house. When I have departed, it is safe to come out. After I have touched your computer, you may continue to use it normally. I am the computer toucher. I will touch your computer. You cannot stop me. I am coming to touch your computer.

To those of you who have been taking pictures of our property and filing complaints to the county about us building, you better have your ducks in a row, because we're going to do the same to you from now on. You want to play? We'll play. By the way, we installed video cameras last night, so our property will be under surveillance from now on. It's absolutely pathetic that you can't mind your own f'ing business. We're not hurting anyone. We're not disturbing anyone. Yet, you insist on being jerks. It's also cowardly of you to do what you're doing. If you have a problem with us, have the courage to come to us and tell us. But, then again, I guess it's typical behavior for people who glorify guns. Like I said...cowards!