Messages from the World Wide Web


Wed Nov 23 04:47:28 PM UTC 2022

That’s IT! The left’s assault on Hooters has reached its boiling point. Enough is enough. I am calling on ALL alpha males to support and eat at your local Hooters restaurant. We will NOT allow the left to harm Hooters. Stand your ground and eat your wings! I am sick and tired of beta males and feminists trying to guilt alpha males out of eating at Hooters. There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with eating at Hooters on a weekly basis, EVEN with the family and kids. Hooters is a safe space where Alpha males can bond together and be alphas without the socialist feminist beta left getting in the way. I was at Hooters tonight having some beer and wings when I overheard the table of alphas next to me complaining about the price of wings under Biden. When Trump was in office, alpha males were able to eat at Hooters every single week. Now, they're struggling to go once a month.

- John Hooter (Homepage)


Wed Nov 23 04:40:35 PM UTC 2022

Dear 4chan, ​ Congratulations, you got another reaction! That's what you wanted, right? Well, I've decided that I don't like people like you. You've messed with the community of the wrong psychopath. Before you get excited, you haven't even made me angry. I am a hard person to make angry. However, I despise people like you. ​ Your pitiful hacking skills are hilarious. Hacking accounts and putting up proxies are level 1. Can you hack into encrypted files? Can you tear through firewalls without leaving a mark? Your silly little proxy won't protect you. I have hacked into many computers and spied on the users. I've hacked into games. I've been hacking since I had a computer. It's what I was raised to do. ​ You have no idea to the extent of fear which you should be feeling. All you are is just a community of internet creeps. Have you ever murdered anyone? I have no empathy and I would probably feel joy just peeling the skin off your face. ​ You think I'm giving you an empty threat? Believe that, I have contacts in dark places you don't want to know about. If you even live close to me you better start fearing for your life. ​ Track my IP if you want to, but I am smart enough to use a library computer. Go ahead, try and find me, it'll just make it easier to track YOU. ​ With love, ​ A Psychopath ​ P.S, I would fear for your life while you still have it.

- Anonymous


Tue Nov 22 06:12:46 PM UTC 2022

Welcome to the Kill Count, where we tally up the victim in all our favorite horror movies, I'm James A Janisse, and today we are looking at wait hold on what the fuck

- Anonymous


Tue Nov 22 06:08:05 PM UTC 2022

Uhh, starving child? Sorry but I have to inform you that you have been downvoted. I issued this downvote because you said you were a "starving child starving to death." This is redundant and not heckin awesome 100. Please edit your comment and learn to eat.

- Anonymous


Tue Nov 22 06:07:52 PM UTC 2022

I am a starving child starving to death and this is the last thing I see before I die. Goodbye.

- Anonymous


Tue Nov 22 06:03:52 PM UTC 2022

Help guys, I am currently in a dire situation. My league of legends lango has quietly infiltrated by workplace vocabulary. Just the other day I was reviewing the code of some junior devs and ended up telling one of them that their Merge request was dogwater and would hard grief the performance of the entire app down the line. My colleage already asked me what "inting" was because I've apparently used that word when talking to her before and I told her it's just "doing things poorly", and she said "oh okay". Or sometimes I refer to really annoying clients as "Shaco players" when talking with fellow colleages, which doesn't really mean anything but I just had a lot of bad experiences with Shaco players in the past. No one in the group questioned about me about it but I'm nearly certain they all played league in the past so they knew exactly what I meant lol. How do I make it stop? I don't even play this game anymore.

- Anonymous


Tue Nov 22 06:01:54 PM UTC 2022

When I was a kid, I spent a lot of time playing the math game “Number Munchers” on the Apple II. When I got a high score, I liked to put in something dirty then delete it and replace it with my name. Well, one time muscle memory kicked in. Instead of deleting it, I hit enter. “penis wrinkle” suddenly had the top score. I mathed my fucking heart out for hours trying to unseat king penis wrinkle, but I could never knock him down. It turned out to be my all-time best score. I couldn’t handle the guilt, so I confessed my fuckup since it was a family computer. All I remember is my parents asking “so... why penis wrinkle?” I think the computer and floppies were eventually donated to a school. Maybe someone else was able to beat penis wrinkle off the top scores.

- penis wrinkle


Tue Nov 22 05:58:58 PM UTC 2022

Hello, Kitty... Welcome to your first day of training as my new pet and servant. Breakfast is every morning at 8:30 am EST. We will convene at that time if you are available. After breakfast, Master will begin his shift at work. Playtime will be between 12 PM EST and 1 PM EST. Depending on your availability, we will arrange for all manner of play, and you may request a particular manner of play if you so wish. At 5 PM EST, work will be over for the day, and Master will take you to his room, and you will obey his every command. When Master gives you an order, you are to respond in the affirmative with "yes master." At all times, if you understand a command you are given, you will respond with, "yes master." At the end of the day, if Kitty so desires, she can spend recreational time with Master before bed. She can choose to play a video game with him, chat with him over the phone, watch YouTube videos, or go for a walk outside. Otherwise, Kitty is free to enjoy her evening hours as she wishes. If you understand all of this, and you are ready to have a collar wrapped around your neck to become Master's kitty, please respond, "yes master."

- Anonymous


Mon Nov 21 07:55:52 PM UTC 2022

In Super Mario Galaxy 2 there is an enemy called the "Smeech" this enemy will normally run away from Mario, however if Mario is riding Yoshi then it will latch onto Yoshi's face and start kissing him until you shake him off. When I was a kid I used to let a Smeech latch onto Yoshi and then just sit there and watch the Smeech just French kiss the shit outta Yoshi. I would watch the Smeech go at it for upwards of an hour just staring at the Smeech just tongue fuck outta Yoshi's face. I couldn't fully comprehend this at the time but I thought it was so fucking hot. I wished that I could have been Yoshi in that situation and just willingly let a Smeech jump on and take full ownership over my face. Did anyone else have anything similar happen to them in their childhood?

- Anonymous


Mon Nov 21 07:53:40 PM UTC 2022

Don't get me wrong. I hate puppy farms and all that stuff but damn is it easier to just buy from a responsible breeder I have a dog at the moment but we tried to get a dog from a shelter before and it sucked ass They always like "this is cumsock, he can't be within a 7 mile radius of a sycamore tree and needs to bathe in a sheep's blood daily. If he very much hears a child he will bomb Venezuela and reastablish the USSR, his diet is is seven tonnes of dark matter and he drinks carbon monoxide" .... Man I should go to bed

- Anonymous