Swagg::Net::Guestbook


Messages from the World Wide Web

#257

Mon Mar 13 02:12:01 PM EDT 2023

I stroll into my local GameStop looking to pick up a copy of The Sopranos: Road to Respect. I grab the game and take it to the charming maiden at the register. "Pardon me, milady," I say, "could you ring me up? A shame I don't have your number or I'd ring you up instead..." She giggles and takes the game, blushing as her fingers brush mine due to my fingerless gloves. Her eyes widen as she reads the game's title. "Wow, I've never seen anyone buy this before! You must have great taste!" I smile and ready a witty response, when suddenly a loud cackle rings out behind me. "Hahaha look at what this neckbeard is buying! That's not Call of Duty Advanced Memefare! Fuckin' nerd!” I quickly turn around, my cloak billowing behind me, to discern the source of the rude outburst. The generic dudebro caricature with a sports team cap and muscle shirt is standing there guffawing. "Excuse me sir...you may disparage my person if you wish, but it is untoward to swear in front of a lady." "Fuck off, basement dweller!” I smile quietly and tip my fedora low across my eyes, concealing them. "As you wish..." I quickly swing my cane into his kneecap before he can react. He bellows and charges forward, but I expertly sidestep him and the cashier screams as he crashes into the counter. I draw my sword-cane and mutter a quiet oath as I drive it deep into his back. "...Requiescat in pace..." As I clean my blade the girl walks out from behind the counter, twirling her hair with her fingers. "So...maybe you'd like to come over to my place to play that game sometime...?" "No thanks, milady, it's only single player. Besides..." I smile, as I sheath my sword, "...you're not my type." I skate away on my Heelys.

- Anonymous

#256

Mon Mar 13 02:04:28 PM EDT 2023

If I was a girl, I would get pregnant as many times as possible, then have abortions after the third month of being pregnant so i would deliver a potato sized 1/3 developed dead fetus, then i would take the fetus, put it in a jar of preservative liquid and put it on a shelf in a secret room in my house. and i would do it until i had so many the rooms walls were nothing but potato sized aborted fetuses. then i would have a kid and when they're bad i would make them sit in the fetus room and remind them of how easy i could have aborted their ass.

- Anonymous

#255

Wed Mar 08 04:17:01 PM EST 2023

Hello I am William Phillip, am from England You seem to be a pretty decent woman and honestly you interest me and you caught my attention am an engineer by profession and I would like to get to know you.I am 50 years

- William Phillip

#254

Wed Mar 08 04:15:26 PM EST 2023

I hearby pledge my allegiance to the Anti Furry Association and all withholding company's we will not let furry's stand tall we will cripple them we will no longer let furry's roam free taking down the furry's is top priority of are allegiance and we wont stand for this we will single handedly take down any furry's that come across are way weather it be with guns missiles RPG's or just posts bc we are not here to see dogs have sex with cats i don't want to see gumball having sex within his mom or the fish or that weird moose teacher thing i am sick to my core no more furry's and that is why today is so beautiful bc we are taking a stand against the homosexual furry's femboy furry's and anything associated with with animals or bestiality

- Anonymous

#253

Wed Mar 08 01:50:25 PM EST 2023

After many years I finally decided to watch Bio-Dome and I just want to say that it definitely holds up after all these years! What really stood out was the amazing directing by Jason Bloom, spot-on acting decisions by some of the legendary cast including Stephen Baldwin, Roger Clinton, and Pauly Shore. The story makes a grand arc with clever plot twists and a satisfying classic finish, back at the start never to be the same. If you're a fan of Forrest Gump, or The Shawshank Redemption, or any comedy-drama films in general, I cannot recommend this movie enough.

- Anonymous

#252

Wed Mar 08 12:50:50 PM EST 2023

Kanyakumari, just over ninety kilometres from my home and this is my first time visiting it. Also, it is the only place on earth, where you can see the sunrise and sunset from the ocean.

- Anonymouseeeee

#250

Wed Mar 08 12:29:06 PM EST 2023

After many years I finally decided to watch [insanely popular, well-reviewed film] and I just want to say that it definitely holds up after all these years! What really stood out was the amazing directing by [Academy Award Winning Director] spot-on acting decisions by some of the legendary cast including [Academy Award Winner], [r/Movies fan favorite], and [actor identified as "underrated"]. The story makes a grand arc with clever plot twists and a satisfying classic finish, back at the start never to be the same. If you're a fan of [Top 10 IMDB Film], or [Other Top 10 IMDB Film], or any [insert genre] films in general, I cannot recommend this movie enough.

- Anon

#249

Wed Mar 01 06:43:21 PM EST 2023

"LOOL NOW U WILL NEVER KNOW WHAT WAS HERE 🤪" After finishing his edit, he begins laughing heartily as he saves the changes to his previously tolerable comment. His chuckling comes to a steady end as he fully relaxes on his chair, closing his eyes. Suddenly, his eyes shoot open and his face violently straightens. He stands up, and fully extends his arms straight and outwards to his sides. His body begins slowly levitating upwards, seemingly breaking the very fundamental rules of reality itself. As he goes against all logic and reason with his vehement hovering, his eyelids drop and rise up again to reveal godly lights beaming from his eye sockets. A disembodied heavenly choir resonates from the abruptly omniscient man. A deific shock wave is fiercely expelled from his body, leveling his house and the surrounding neighborly architecture unworthy of his divine presence. Screams are heard from all directions, from both his family, neighbors, and bystanders walking by. Before continuing his ascent, his lips part to deliver one final message to the mere mortals surrounding him. "I HAVE ACHIEVED, MAXIMUM, COMEDIC, PERFORMANCE." He looks up, and with one swift movement, launches to the heavens, to properly acquire his ownership of the universe itself.

- Anonymous

#248

Wed Mar 01 06:41:49 PM EST 2023

Number 15, Burger king foot lettuce. The last thing you'd want in your burger king burger is someone's foot fungus. But as it turns out, that might be what you get. A 4channer uploaded a photo anonymously to the site showcasing his feet in a plastic bin of lettuce with the statement: "this is the lettuce you eat at burger king" admittedly, he had shoes on, but that's even worse. The post went live at 11:38 pm on july 16th. And a mere 20 minutes later, the burger king in question was alerted to the rouge employee. At least, I hope he's rouge. How did it happen? well, the BK employee had it removed the exif data from the uploaded photo which suggested the culprit was somewhere in Mayfield Heights Ohio. This was at 11:47. Three minutes later at 11:50, the Burger King branch address was posted with wishes of happy unemployment. Five minutes later the news station was contacted by another 4chaner and three minutes later at 11:58, a link was posted. BK's "tell us about us" online form, the foot photo, otherwise known as Exhibit A was attached. Cleveland scene magazine contacted the BK in question. The next day, when questioned, the breakfast shift manager said: "Oh I know who that is. He's getting fired." Mystery solved by 4chan. Now we can all go back to eating our fast food in peace.

- Anonymous

#247

Sun Feb 19 09:19:49 PM EST 2023

The best designs, are timeless. The Wheel, Lightbulb, Sliced bread. This weapon, ranks among them. The M1911 is an American Semi-Automatic Pistol, whose use spans over a Century. So what set this weapon apart, from early Semi-Automatic designs? How has it influenced later Pistols? And how on earth, does a War-time design, remain so popular? Around the turn of the 20th Century, the earliest Self-Loading Pistol designs appeared. Inspired by Maxim's Machinegun, weapons like the Borchardt C-93, and Mauser C96 attempted to scale down a Repeating Mechanism, into a hand-held package. The first American to do the same, was John Moses Browning. A legendary Arms designer, credited with many Firsts. Amongst them was the First production Handgun with a Slide, the FN M1900. His Semi-Automatic Pistol designs saw iterative improvements, over the next Decade. Culminating in one, manufactured by colt, and subject to Trial by the U.S. Army. 6 Designs were submitted, but only 2 were in major contention. a Savage Arms design, providing a Rival to Browning's. Over an Endurance Test of 6000 Rounds, the Savage had 37 Malfunctions. The Colt, had none. It's superlative led to it's official Adoption in 1911. As the M1911. One of the Weapon's defining traits, is it's Caliber. .45 Automatic Colt Pistol. The Rimless Straight-Walled Cartridge, is designed for 2 things. Reliable Self-Loading Operation, and Stopping Power. The U.S. Military's earlier experience, with .38 Long Colt Revolvers, had led to one Conclusion, for any future Sidearm. Nothing less than a .45 would do. Browning's design has been.. Particularly Influential. Many modern Pistols follow its' form, and mode of operation. It does lack some Modern Conveniences, it is Single Action only, meaning that the hammer MUST be cocked for the first shot. Either manually, or by racking the Slide. However, an Uncomplicated design, does have some Perks. A crisp Trigger, and reliable function. its' Short Recoil Operation, is equally elegant.

- Anonymous