Swagg::Net::Guestbook

My hubby is a phenomenal gorilla impersonator. Knuckles on the floor, butt protruding, puffing noise, all of it. Wouldn't you know it, more often than I'd care to confess, that has led me to my bed! I'd want to say it's primarily because he makes me laugh so much, but man, there are times when I think, "Wow, that gorilla is very gorgeous."

I'm an American high school student in 2020. There are multiple school shootings a day. Every teacher is now armed. Veterans patrol the halls on mobility scooters with built-in miniguns. The Algebra 2 teacher is handing out the quiz, her body armor jostling around. I reach into my backpack to take out my calculator. Her M16 is already trained on me. "DON'T FUCKING MOVE." "I-I need my calculator." "THIS IS A NO CALCULATOR QUIZ." "I-I thought I could use my calculator." "YOU THOUGHT WRONG." Tense pause. She lowers her weapon. A school shooter takes this opportunity to snipe her from the back of the room. Her brains splatter all over my face. A second school shooter in the front wheels around with a shotgun, blasting the first shooter because he doesn't want to share the headlines. The cute girl next to me holds up her ballistics shield half a second too late. I try to run for the door. A veteran mobility scooter flies into the room firing 100 rounds a second into my upper torso. As my carcass joins those of my classmates, I die happy knowing that I'm still freer than Europoors. My family gets charged $10m for medical expenses plus tip.

Indian food from a gas station before riding the trails… ATGATT? No sir. I’d remove the pants and probably the base layer for good measure… basically ride bottomless. It takes me too long to dismount these days. I guess I’d just bail off, take the broken bones, and poop on impact.

I’m a psychopath. I’m a super ultra extremely intelligent psychological master manipulator, above 200IQ but didn’t need to go to university. I’m a highly evolved form of human, one could argue a psychopathic alien being, basically I am a god. I know I could make more money but I don’t need it anyway, people donate to me. Whenever I stare at people they immediately get frightened of me and become submissive. One time this old guy actually died from fear when my psychopath stare got to him. The cops showed up to charge me but I stared at them too, heh… they didn’t charge me. I’m also a martial arts master and you can tell by the way that I walk. This other time this guy had a gun and I just psychopath stared at him, he dropped it and ran. If I was a Pokémon all the trainers would want to catch me just for my psychopath stare, it would win every match but the problem is none of them would be able to catch me because of my stare. I’m precocious, impregnable, omnipotent, and I have all the solutions to world problems but keep them for myself because I love to watch suffering. My theta waves and heartbeat stay at a constant level and never fluctuate even in the most stressful situations. I sleep like a baby and never worry nor do I feel guilt, remorse, or shame. I have no mercy. God told me I was the second coming of Christ. I told him, “No, bitch I am the 1st coming” and he got scared and listened(I psychopath stared him). The pet store won’t sell me hamsters anymore.

I used to drink tons of Diet Coke but it’s been one month since I’ve had a drop. I want to share some of the changes I’ve observed in myself over that time: My health is unchanged I’m less happy My one source of joy is gone Thanks for encouraging me on this journey!

nice webpage dude

Me (45M) have been recently watching my sons (15M) internet browsing history to see if he was studying for his Mathematics exam. While he was at school, I got on his computer, and when I opened it, I was greeted by a drawing of a little, short haired girl, in the style of a seemingly japanese comic book, as his desktop wallpaper. As I slowly moved the mouse, a random spinning logo thing had opened, and then I was greeted by a chatting application named "Discord". As I was about to close the application, I heard a weird sound coming through his speakers. It seemed like a person had messaged him, and I clicked to see what they were saying. As I opened the chat with him, I instantly saw an image of a pink haired girl, drawn in the style of his wallpaper, holding a can of Monster Energy Drink, aiming it at her crotch area. I frankly did not know why an image like this would be sent to my son, but without thinking anything of it, I closed the application. Now that the chatting app was closed, I moved the mouse to the browser icon, and I clicked. I forgot how to see the browsing history in a web browser, so I googled it. However, as I very slowly typed "how to see browser history chrome", it automatically recommended me another search option, which said "hot twink eats a glizzy and gets covered in mayo". I ignored this, as I seemingly thought nothing of it at first. After I remembered how to see the browser history, what I saw horrified me even more. Some of them read: "twink gets corn on the cob", "hot femboy adds cream to your coffee", "hot creampie". I do not know what a "femboy", "twink" or a "glizzy" is, but I think it is a cooking term. But, I am not sure. What does any of these mean? Is my son aiming to become a chef? I never saw him cook anything in the kitchen. Should I ask him to make me a hot creampie?

No this isn't a copypasta, it's my own original thought. I know that's hard to believe on the internet, where everything has to be posted ironically or as part of a cringe compilation, but I'm critiquing art. Why don't you believe me? What have I done to be other-ized to your world view so much that you doubt my very humanity? I don't come onto this forum to debate my humanity with robots like you. How about you respond to the points instead, huh? is it that hard to look at the things I've written and decide to respond to them like I'm a real human being with friends and thoughts and feelings and red blood pumping through my body.

Just checked out your site and laughed for a full minute about your modi/cookies warning. :)

lmao u like 40 makin yo mom jokes. i got 2 pairs of gloves we could tussle up anytime playboy stop posting and get at me